look at my eyes.. its already 3:07 and I'm still out of sanity. I can't sleep, I feel the hurt of being wound to him.. i know, until now he can't forgive me. And I already accept that fact. But i still believe that "forgiveness still exist".
Awhile ago, I talk to him (Glenn). We talk about our relationship. Actually its been 2months since we broke up.
Its my fault, I admit. I flirt with other guy ning di ko manlang sya inisip..
I don't know why i cheated on him. I don't even understand myself. Maybe because i don't love him or i did not love him since then? Or maybe, because i feel sometimes that "HE DON'T REALLY LOVE ME!". Actually, I don't even feel that before.. but since our relationship changed because of that stupid curiosity. Our love started to change. hindi na sya katulad ng dati.. at mahirap narin ibalik..
After our break up. I cried for a weeks, and he cried so many times. He did everything to make me stay but I can't grant it. Is not that i don't love him anymore, it's just that "i cant find myself loving him like I did before". Maybe, tomorrow.. We never know.. "kame rin pala bandang huli, hindi lang sa ngayon" diba?. I don't know! ewan ko ba! siguro sa ngayon hindi ko pa ulit makita sarili ko sakanya.
He hates me! I broke his heart! I made him cried. I made a promise but i broke it! I dont even have one word! I made his heart miserable.. But after all the bad things that i done to him, He still standing on me. still loving me. siguro nga tanga na maituturing ang kagaya niya. Pero ganun naman talaga.. diba? LOVE IS STUPID!!
okey, back to realiy. We fight! We're shouting at each other (or it just me, who shouted?) i cant remember.. ahe. basta we fight! bec. we cant understand each other..
I ask.. "bakit ka ba ganiyan?"
He said.. "eh ganiyan ka eh.. kasalanan mo kung bakit ganito ko!"
It's my fault again? waaahh.... again and again. He can't understand that I don't wanna hear this one "baka hindi na tayu magkita niyan.." yan! I hate that words!! He so dramatic.. duhh! if he don't wanna see me anymore.. fine!! eh kaso eto pa nakakainis.. edi sigawan na nga kame sa fone.. bigla ba naman takutin ako na kesyo isusumbong niya daw ako kay tita kase nakausap ko daw si Dex. Amfufu!! i hate him! "bahala ka!" i said. Pinaiyak niya ko dahil dun.. inahamon ko daw sya.. duhh!! kung alam lang niya takot na takot ako sakaniya.. gggrrrr....
Then, nalaman ko.. he just kidding me.. lahat ng dinadadak niya lahat yun ginawa niya lang para pag tripan ako.. sa sobrang inis ko.. "inuntog ko ulo ko sa pader!" take note! its 14 times.. If I'm not mistaken. Imagine? Sira na ata ulo ko weh!! bat nagawa ko yun? amfufu.. ahha
kaya nga hindi ako makatulog ngayun.. masaket ang aking head. i have FLUE pa.. amfufu talaga..